Greatest American Zero

The biggest bummer is the Greatest American Zero scored two goals. Those who are laughing are old, like me. Those not laughing, Google it.  I wish I could take credit for that but I robbed it from someone on twitter. If your out there, show yourself!

The back line was a mess. Benny made a mistake putting Kitchen at center back. Although it was gutsy to put Najar in as an outside back. If Russell, Bmac, Dudar and Najar were the back line, they could attack as a 3-5-2, and defend as a 4-4-2. Easier said then done I know, but I can dream right?

The attack was desperate. Too quick, too forced. Cruz and Dero were sprinting straight into defenders, then falling on their faces and losing the ball.

Despite mistakes and goals and mayhem… United had moments, created changes. A tough night and a tough loss, but not the end of the world.

• Dudar… heal up… quick, do you have any Argentinean or Swedish center back buddies?
• Perry get back to center mid where someone can protect you. Go get the ball! Just do it with someone behind you.
• Danny, yes we all appreciate your enthusiasm, but now it’s time to take a deep breath and stop falling down all the time.
• Andy, you can have your job back if you promise to be enjoyable to watch and get your swagger back, chin up kid.
• Nick, play nice with Andy and thanks for bagging the corn-rows.
• Daniel, thank you sir, you deserve a raise.
• Bmac, keep talking and don’t get ejected. I get the feeling your a fun guy to have around the dressing room.
• Robbie, find the center back in your soul and embrace it. Be the center back.
• Korb, pull your socks up.
• Pontius, did you do neck thickening exercises while you were out with the busted leg? I swear you look way more stout then you did last year.
• Maicon, listen to Benny because I know he’s telling you that you ARE this good… Keep taking those shots, it’s OK if some of them are wayward. The job is yours to keep if you do the work and keep hold of the temper.
• Salihi, the monkey is off your back. Now how do you break the starting line up?
• Dero, two games, two attempted bicycles. Go three for three, one of them is bound to go in.
• Branko, I hate to say it but, $500,000 goes a long way toward shoring up the back line in the summer transfer window.

Toronto is desperate… heads up.

VAMOS BOYEZ!

Confident.

What an absolute pleasure of was it watch D.C United get there first back to back win against Houston Dynamo Saturday night.

Maicon Santos early goal was the one and only of the first half. United struggled to regroup after center back Emiliano Dudar went off with what appeared to be a pulled hamstring. Robbie Russell moved to center back , Perry Kitchen move to right back and Marcelo Saragosa stepped in to the defensive midfielder role.

While the Black and Red struggled to find their feet, Houston found the back off the net in the 50th minute. United stayed composed and Dwayne De Rosario broke his scoring drought with a goal in the 54th. Was it a shot or was it a cross? Who knows, who cares.

Houston also stayed composed and came back to make it 2-2 in the 59th. Last years United would have packed it in at this point, found some way to squander the single point that was left, but that was last year. In the 70 minute Daniel Woolard, Dero And Santos combine to find the 3rd and final goal of the night.

Confident.

Confident they could make something happen to regain the lead. So confident they continued to attack for most of the last 25 minutes. I’ve never understood attempts to hunker down for 25 minutes with a one goal lead. Attack and force the ball away from your own goal.

United won back to back games for the first time since 2009. They fought for this one and deserved it. When asked about it after the game, Olsen said it was a huge relief.

Ben Olsen has convinced Santos to continue to work hard, at least for now. I won’t pretend that I wasn’t part of the peanut gallery calling for his head after his poor performance early in the season. I’m hopeful that his attitude won’t wilt after a bad performance or two this summer.
Andy Najar, just because you came on as a sub doesn’t mean you can’t hold on to the ball. We know what you can do, have a shot! Believe me, everyone wants to worry about weather it should be you or Danny Cruz in there. Don’t lose the swagger.

Dudar is a heavy loss, He has been a rock, winning everything in the air, calmly passing out of the back while MacDonald runs around causing trouble. They are like an Abbot and Costello routine, in a good way. I hope Olsen can find a solution that doesn’t involve Kitchen at right back. How about Najar at right back with a defensive minded right midfielder, Lewis Neal maybe?

The pink elephant on the bench is the million dollar Eastern European duo. For Hamdi Salihi to score, he needs games, in order to get games he needs to score. Branko Boskovic needs games to prove himself. He’s not going to find games when the starting 11 on the field is playing with the confidence they have right now. Branko’s contract is up this summer, and I just don’t see how United can keep him around. His 500,000 salary goes a long way toward depth in MLS. Give Salihi reserve games and hope when the Santos’ well drys up, in the summer the Salihi spring will flow.

Wednesday United embarked on a three game road trip starting at the west conference leader, San Jose Earthquakes. Last year Steven Lenhart served up a Hat-trick at RFK last year. After his recent antics with Marc Burch in Seattle, and Jamison Olave in Salt Lake followed by two goals this past weekend against the Philadelphia Union. United needs to be smart about marking him and not getting sucked into his nonsense, and there’s that other guy, the goal scoring machine know as Chris Wondolowski. Next up, the lack luster Toronto FC, who are dangerous because they have to win sometime right? The Black and Red finish the road trip in a sea of Orange at the opening of a Houston Dynamo’s new stadium. With the taste of this past weekend defeat still fresh, the Dynamo will not want to lose this one.

United sits just under Sporting Kansas City in the standings in second place. United is building some momentum… some confidence. With it comes what might appear to be luck. But is it luck? It’s rare that a team in poor form is lucky. United us making it’s own luck.

MLS Soap Box #1

In a shocking act of kindness Toronto FC gave Chicago Fire a goal Saturday afternoon. Toronto coach Aron Winter said “We decided just before kick off that we had a chance of not losing this game, we felt we better nip this in the bud.” 26 seconds into the game the Toronto keeper rolled the ball out to Chicago forward Dominic Oduro who put the ball in the back of the net. Oduro said “Without that first goal they gave us, this game could have been a draw, and no one wanted that.”

It turns out Jason Kreis doesn’t like the way Sporting Kansas City play. I think he meant to say he doesn’t like losing. If only they would give his players the time they need to be fancy. I wonder if MLS is considering fining Kreis for dogging another team’s style. A couple years back, Kevin Payne was fined for comments about New England’s “10 behind the ball tactics.” Kreis said that their style wasn’t attractive. I beg to differ. Last year after Sporting Kansas City beat D.C. United (not that beating D.C. was any great feat last year) I was really impressed with their speed and desire to go straight for the goal. The tactic is simple, when they don’t have the ball, they go get it. Once they have it, head straight to goal. They remind me of Tottenham Hot Spur…except they are winning.

Speaking of winning, Portland Timbers won a game. Only they didn’t score, which means Kansas City beat themselves, and gave the points to Portland. I bet Peter Vermes doesn’t like John Spencer’s style this week.

Steven Lenhart, you are a tricky bastard. When you retire people will not say “he was one of the good guys.” I hope the disciplinary committee rescinds Jámison Olave’s red card and gives it to Lenhart. He didn’t foul him so much as try to keep him on his feet as Lenhart tried to pull his shorts down.  Which if he stayed on his feet, he might score some goals. I know he is capable of it.

Chris Rolfe recently returned to the Chicago Fire after a two year stint in Denmark with Aalborg. In an interview on Extra Time Radio Simon Borg pressed Rolfe for answers as to why he did not resign to Aalborg. Do we really need to ask why he came home? He was living in a city of just over 100,000 in a country where he didn’t speak the language. I’m sure Rolfe didn’t go the Denmark to settle down and have a long career. He had hoped it to be a stepping stone to a better league in Europe. That didn’t happen, so what. Welcome home Rolfe. I’m sure Chicago is thrilled to have you back.

And finally Rafa Márquez deserves at least 5 games for INTENTIONALLY KICKING ANOTHER PLAYER AND BREAKING HIS CLAVICLE. The guy is a dirt bag and needs to go.